FACING THE FEAR

FACING THE FEAR
Overcoming Your Anxiety Around Public Speaking

By Robert Graham, President of GrahamComm, LLC (http://www.grahamcomm.net) and Leader of Cisco’s Effective Presentation Skills Courses

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that seem right? That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” – Jerry Seinfeld

It should come as no surprise to you that the number one challenge to people in my Presentation Skills workshops is dealing with nervousness and anxiety. What you may not realize is how possible it is to lessen your speaking-related nerves and deliver an outstanding talk – even if your heart is pounding and your mouth is desert-dry.

Our bodies react to situations of perceived “danger” with a burst of adrenaline. The fact is that we all experience some degree of nervousness when it’s time to present, and yet we have to get up and speak anyway. The goal is not to rid yourself of this fear. The goal is to give a great presentation. And there are several things that you can do right away to help keep this sense of anxiety in check.

Here are GrahamComm’s ten keys to dealing with your speaking-related nervousness:

Think of your speaking situation as a series of small conversations – not public speaking – and talk to each person directly. This is the most useful tip I have ever heard about public speaking. If you talk to one person at a time as if you were having a private conversation, your nerves can disappear and your connection with that person will be cemented.
Know that your audience doesn’t know how nervous you are. No matter how hard your heart is beating, your hands are sweating or your knees are knocking, chances are nobody else can tell. Keep it this way. Remember that perception is reality, and if they see someone who looks confident, that is real for them.
Practice. The better you know your material and how you will present it, the more relaxed you will be. Practice your talk OUT LOUD at least 3-5 times in the days leading up to your talk. Do this, and I guarantee you will feel and project more confidence (and may even enjoy the process!).
Schmooze. Get to the location of your talk early and talk to some of the people there. Have a cup of coffee and make a few friends and suddenly you’re not talking to a room full of strangers. Plus, you can reference the comments and conversations during your talk, which gets people more involved in your presentation.
Open well. The first words out of your mouth are the most important – and often the most difficult. Don’t start with the usual, “Hi, my name is Robert, and I’ll be speaking about…” You’ll lose them before you even begin. Create a Hook (I’ll address this in a future article), know exactly how you are going to open, practice it well, and the rest will come easier.
Put your nervous energy to work for you. Gesture, move around the room, be excited about your material! (If you aren’t, your audience certainly won’t be). Most presentations are too flat and lifeless; use this energy to come alive during your talk.
During the minutes leading up to your talk, stop trying to practice. You’re as prepared as you are going to be, so focus your mind on something positive to put you in the right mental space.
Breathe. Deep breaths from your diaphragm calm you and bring much-needed oxygen to the brain.
Be the duck. Think of the way a duck looks swimming across a pond. It appears effortless as it glides through the water, but underneath its feet are flapping furiously. No matter what happens inside your head, remain calm and keep your composure.
Know that you are better than you think. If you see yourself on video, painful as it may be, you will probably realize that you’re better than you thought. This is a big confidence builder.

Keep the above points in mind, face your fears by taking advantage of your speaking opportunities, prepare for them and remember: It’s not how you feel that’s important; it’s how you are perceived.


Action Exercise
Next time you are speaking and the fear strikes, stop yourself, take a deep breath or a drink of water and find one person to continue with. Keep perspective on the presentation (even if you bomb, the sun will rise the next day) and remember that what people see and hear is what’s real for them. You’re better than you think!


Robert Graham helps engineers, analysts and programmers, many speaking English as a foreign language, change their lives by developing more confidence and improving their presentation skills. Recent clients include Merrill Lynch, Cisco, eBay, Microsoft, Charles Schwab & the US Department of Homeland Security. For free tips on Presenting and Selling, visit him at www.grahamcomm.net, Robert@grahamcomm.net or 415-652-0763.