Wednesday, January 21, 2009

பேசும்முன் கேளுங்கள்

1. பேசும்முன் கேளுங்கள், எழுதும்முன் யோசியுங்கள், செலவழிக்கும்முன் சம்பாதியுங்கள்


2. சில சமயங்களில் இழப்புதான் பெரிய ஆதாயமாக இருக்கும்


3. யாரிடம் கற்கிறோமோ அவரே ஆசிரியர். கற்றுக்கொடுப்பவரெல்லாம் ஆசிரியர் அல்லர்.


4. நான் மாறும்போது தானும் மாறியும், நான் தலையசைக்கும்போது தானும் தலையசைக்கும் நண்பன் எனக்குத் தேவையில்லை. அதற்கு என் நிழலே போதும்!


5. நோயை விட அச்சமே அதிகம் கொல்லும்!


6. நான் குறித்த நேரத்திற்குக் கால்மணி நேரம் முன்பே சென்று விடுவது வழக்கம். அதுதான் என்னை மனிதனாக்கியது.


7. நம்மிடம் பெரிய தவறுகள் இல்லை எனக் குறிப்பிடுவதற்கே, சிறிய தவறுகளை ஒப்புக்கொள்கிறோம்!


8. வாழ்க்கை என்பது குறைவான தகவல்களை வைத்துக்கொண்டு சரியான முடிவுக்கு வரும் ஒரு கலை.


9. சமையல் சரியாக அமையாவிடில் ஒருநாள் இழப்பு. அறுவடை சிறக்காவிடில் ஒரு ஆண்டு இழப்பு. திருமணம் பொருந்தாவிடில் வாழ்நாளே இழப்பு.


10. முழுமையான மனிதர்கள் இருவர். ஒருவர் இன்னும் பிறக்கவில்லை. மற்றவர் இறந்துவிட்டார்.


11. ஓடுவதில் பயனில்லை. நேரத்தில் புறப்படுங்கள்


12. எல்லோரையும் நேசிப்பது சிரமம். ஆனால் பழகிக்கொள்ளுங்கள்


13. நல்லவர்களோடு நட்பாயிரு. நீயும் நல்லவனாவாய்


14. காரணமே இல்லாமல் கோபம் தோன்றுவதில்லை. ஆனால் காரணம் நல்லதாய் இருப்பதில்லை


15. இவர்கள் ஏன் இப்படி? என்பதை விட, இவர்கள் இப்படித்தான் என எண்ணிக்கொள்


16. யார் சொல்வது சரி என்பதல், எது சரி என்பதே முக்கியம்


17. ஆயிரம் முறை சிந்தியுங்கள். ஒருமுறை முடிவெடுங்கள்


18. பயம்தான் நம்மைப் பயமுறுத்துகிறது. பயத்தை உதற் எறிவோம்


19. நியாயத்தின் பொருட்டு வெளிப்படையாக ஒருவருடன் விவாதிப்பது சிறப்பாகும்


20. உண்மை புறப்பட ஆரம்பிக்கும் முன் பொய் பாதி உலகத்தை வலம் வந்துவிடும்


21. உண்மை தனியாகச் செல்லும். பொய்க்குத்தான் துணை வேண்டும்


22. வாழ்வதும் வாழ்விடுவதும் நமது வாழ்க்கைத் தத்துவங்களாக ஆக்கிக்கொள்வோம்.


23. தன்னை ஒருவராலும் ஏமாற்ற முடியாது எனச் செருக்கோடு இருப்பவனே கண்டிப்பாக ஏமாந்து போகிறான்


24. உலகம் ஒரு நாடக மேடை ஒவ்வொருவரும் தம் பங்கை நடிக்கிறார்கள்


25. செய்வதற்கு எப்போதும் வேலை இருக்கவேண்டும் . அப்போது தான் முன்னேற முடியும்


26. அன்பையும் ஆற்றலையும் இடைவிடாது வெளிப்படுத்துகிறவர் ஆர்வத்துடன் பணிபுரிவர்


27. வெற்றி பெற்றபின் தன்னை அடக்கி வைத்துக்கொள்பவன், இரண்டாம் முறையும் வென்ற மனிதனாவான்


28. தோல்வி ஏற்படுவது அடுத்த செயலைக் கவனமாகச் செய் என்பதற்கான எச்சரிக்கை.


29. பிறர் நம்மைச் சமாதானப்படுத்த வேண்டும் என்று எதிர்பார்க்காமல், நாம் பிறரைச் சமாதானப்படுத்த முயற்சிக்க வேண்டும்.


30. கடினமான செயலின் சரியான பெயர்தான் சாதனை. சாதனையின் தவறான விளக்கம் தான் கடினம்


31. ஒன்றைப்பற்றி நிச்சயமாக நம்ப வேண்டுமென்றால் எதையும் சந்தேகத்துடனே துவக்க வேண்டும்


32. சரியானது எது என்று தெரிந்த பிறகும் அதைச் செய்யாமல் இருப்பதற்குப் பெயர்தான் கோழைத்தனம்.

33. ஒரு துளி பேனா மை பத்து இலட்சம் பேரைச் சிந்திக்க வைக்கிறது

Developing a child Self-Confidence

Developing a child Self-Confidence

At the age of two, a child starts to form her attitude towards the world around her. Some developmental psychologists think that the sense of self-confidence is one of the first of these attitudes and the strength of these feelings at age 2 depends on the kind of care that the child receives and on the parents' attitude in meeting her basic needs. At this stage the child shows signs of development by showing a desire for independence, as she needs the freedom to speak, walk and play. All of that is connected to the need to assert herself which can only be achieved by allowing her a measure of independence. This is confirmed by the theory of development through maturity which says that we should respect the child's individuality and leave him or her to develop naturally. Some girls grow up lacking self-confidence so that they cannot rely upon themselves in any matter, major or minor. They rarely take any initiative and are always waiting for someone to say, "Do such and such." If faced with a problem, such a girl will be unable to take any decision and may try to avoid confronting the problem, or start crying. This is partly the parents' fault, and it may be for a number of reasons, such as:


1: Too much control ("Do this, don't do that") in major and minor matters alike, even if the matter does not warrant it, so that the child loses her spontaneity and this makes her lose confidence in her actions, and instead she always waits for someone to correct her and reassure her that she is doing the right thing.



2: Blaming and criticizing her for everything she does, seeking out her faults and rebuking her if she makes a mistake, so that she is blamed and rebuked more than she deserves at the time when she is expecting praise for her efforts. This destroys the child's motivation to act or to compete in doing anything and doing it well.



3: Not giving the child the opportunity to speak in front of others for fear that she may make a mistake or speak of things that are not desirable, or else allowing her to speak but telling her what she should say.



4: Giving her too many warnings about danger, which will make her always expect the worst and imagine that she is surrounded by danger on all sides.


5: Putting her down or comparing her to others, which makes her think that she has no worth.

6: Making fun of her and mocking her.

7: Not paying attention to her questions.

8: Paying too much attention in a manner that shows excessive worry about her health or her future.


Lack of self-confidence has many negative effects on the child, such as:

1: She will not be able to do anything independently, and if she is asked to bring something and finds that it differs from the description given, she will be hesitant; if she is faced with a problem she will be unable to take a decision.

2: She will become dull-witted and not creative.

3: She will start to complain and feel unhappy whenever anything is asked of her, because she thinks that she will be blamed for whatever she does and that she will not be able to do it in the manner required.

4: She will become weak-willed and will have no resolve, and she will feel meek and apathetic in situations where such attitudes are not appropriate, and will become neglectful and disorganized.

5: She will suffer anxiety and frustration, and will develop a hostile attitude or a tendency to become introverted and withdrawn.


In order to avoid these negative effects on the child, parents should use a number of ways to develop the child's self-confidence. Some examples follow, but this is not a complete list:

A: They should draw up some general guidelines to follow by telling her what Allaah has made permissible, which she may do, and what He has forbidden, which she must avoid. They should make her aware of noble attributes and good manners, and instill in her a dislike for bad manners, deeds and words, and the need to steer clear of trivial matters. Then after that they should give her the freedom to act on her own initiative.

B: The mother should assign her some tasks that she is able to do. If she makes a mistake the mother should praise her for her initiative and encourage her, then tell her what she should have done. Sometimes she should just praise her for her efforts, then complete the work in a gentle manner, without telling her directly. If the task is not something that the child is able to do, then the mother may do it and consult the child and ask for her opinion, and let the child state what she thinks is good and is not, so that the child will realize that everyone is vulnerable to making mistakes but also gets things right sometimes. This will strengthen her resolve.

C: The parents should try to praise the child in front of her relatives and friends, and give her rewards commensurate with her efforts. They should praise her for the acts of worship that she does, such as praying regularly, memorizing Quraan, doing well in her studies, having a good attitude, and so on.

D: They should give her a nickname that will distinguish her from others, but they should not allow anyone to call her by a bad nickname. If she makes them angry they should call her by her real name, so that she will realize that she has fallen short in her duty to one or both of them, or that she has wronged somebody, so that she will realize that.

E: Strengthening her will-power, by getting her used to two things, namely:

(a) Keeping secrets: when she knows how to keep secrets and not divulge them, then her will-power will develop and grow stronger, and thus her self-confidence will increase.

(b) Getting her used to fasting, for when she stands firm in the face of hunger and thirst when fasting, she will feel the joy of achieving victory over her nafs (self), which will strengthen her will-power when facing life, which in turn will increase her self-confidence.

F: Strengthening her confidence in dealing with other people. This may be done by getting her to do housework, obeying the parents' commands, and letting her sit with the adults and get together with other youngsters.

G: Strengthening her confidence in gaining knowledge, by teaching her the Quraan and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and his Seerah (biography), so that she will grow up having acquired abundant knowledge in childhood, so that she will have a sense of confidence in the knowledge that she has, because she will have gained the basic principles of true knowledge, far removed from myths and legends.

On the other hand, the parents must also take some precautions and take effective measures to save the child from feeling inadequate. Some of the things that cause a child to feel inadequate are: belittling her, humiliating her and mocking her, such as calling her by offensive names and words in front of her siblings and relatives, or even in front of her friends or in front of strangers whom she has never met before. These are matters which may make her regard herself as insignificant and worthless, or may generate psychological complexes that will make her look at others with hatred and dislike, and make her withdraw into herself in order to escape from life.

Even if the offensive words that slip from the parents' tongues are only for the purpose of disciplining the child for some mistake, great or small, it is not right to use this method to correct her, as this will have a bad effect on the child's psyche and personal conduct, and it will make her accustomed to the language of condemnation and insult that will destroy her psychologically and morally.

The best way of dealing with this problem is to explain to the child, in a gentle manner, where she has gone wrong and to give her proof that will convince her to avoid the mistake in future; the parents should not scold her, and certainly not in front of others. The parents should use good methods in correcting her from the outset, following the example of the Messenger SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the way he reformed and trained people and corrected their mistakes. For the child is very sensitive and readily influenced, irrational and helpless. Building the child's self-confidence is the first step in building her personality through all stages of life.




--
Posted By Adirai Mansoor to Adirai Express at 1/20/2009 12:21:00 PM http://adiraiexpress.blogspot.com

Developing a child Self-Confidence

Developing a child Self-Confidence

At the age of two, a child starts to form her attitude towards the world around her. Some developmental psychologists think that the sense of self-confidence is one of the first of these attitudes and the strength of these feelings at age 2 depends on the kind of care that the child receives and on the parents' attitude in meeting her basic needs. At this stage the child shows signs of development by showing a desire for independence, as she needs the freedom to speak, walk and play. All of that is connected to the need to assert herself which can only be achieved by allowing her a measure of independence. This is confirmed by the theory of development through maturity which says that we should respect the child's individuality and leave him or her to develop naturally. Some girls grow up lacking self-confidence so that they cannot rely upon themselves in any matter, major or minor. They rarely take any initiative and are always waiting for someone to say, "Do such and such." If faced with a problem, such a girl will be unable to take any decision and may try to avoid confronting the problem, or start crying. This is partly the parents' fault, and it may be for a number of reasons, such as:


1: Too much control ("Do this, don't do that") in major and minor matters alike, even if the matter does not warrant it, so that the child loses her spontaneity and this makes her lose confidence in her actions, and instead she always waits for someone to correct her and reassure her that she is doing the right thing.



2: Blaming and criticizing her for everything she does, seeking out her faults and rebuking her if she makes a mistake, so that she is blamed and rebuked more than she deserves at the time when she is expecting praise for her efforts. This destroys the child's motivation to act or to compete in doing anything and doing it well.



3: Not giving the child the opportunity to speak in front of others for fear that she may make a mistake or speak of things that are not desirable, or else allowing her to speak but telling her what she should say.



4: Giving her too many warnings about danger, which will make her always expect the worst and imagine that she is surrounded by danger on all sides.


5: Putting her down or comparing her to others, which makes her think that she has no worth.

6: Making fun of her and mocking her.

7: Not paying attention to her questions.

8: Paying too much attention in a manner that shows excessive worry about her health or her future.


Lack of self-confidence has many negative effects on the child, such as:

1: She will not be able to do anything independently, and if she is asked to bring something and finds that it differs from the description given, she will be hesitant; if she is faced with a problem she will be unable to take a decision.

2: She will become dull-witted and not creative.

3: She will start to complain and feel unhappy whenever anything is asked of her, because she thinks that she will be blamed for whatever she does and that she will not be able to do it in the manner required.

4: She will become weak-willed and will have no resolve, and she will feel meek and apathetic in situations where such attitudes are not appropriate, and will become neglectful and disorganized.

5: She will suffer anxiety and frustration, and will develop a hostile attitude or a tendency to become introverted and withdrawn.


In order to avoid these negative effects on the child, parents should use a number of ways to develop the child's self-confidence. Some examples follow, but this is not a complete list:

A: They should draw up some general guidelines to follow by telling her what Allaah has made permissible, which she may do, and what He has forbidden, which she must avoid. They should make her aware of noble attributes and good manners, and instill in her a dislike for bad manners, deeds and words, and the need to steer clear of trivial matters. Then after that they should give her the freedom to act on her own initiative.

B: The mother should assign her some tasks that she is able to do. If she makes a mistake the mother should praise her for her initiative and encourage her, then tell her what she should have done. Sometimes she should just praise her for her efforts, then complete the work in a gentle manner, without telling her directly. If the task is not something that the child is able to do, then the mother may do it and consult the child and ask for her opinion, and let the child state what she thinks is good and is not, so that the child will realize that everyone is vulnerable to making mistakes but also gets things right sometimes. This will strengthen her resolve.

C: The parents should try to praise the child in front of her relatives and friends, and give her rewards commensurate with her efforts. They should praise her for the acts of worship that she does, such as praying regularly, memorizing Quraan, doing well in her studies, having a good attitude, and so on.

D: They should give her a nickname that will distinguish her from others, but they should not allow anyone to call her by a bad nickname. If she makes them angry they should call her by her real name, so that she will realize that she has fallen short in her duty to one or both of them, or that she has wronged somebody, so that she will realize that.

E: Strengthening her will-power, by getting her used to two things, namely:

(a) Keeping secrets: when she knows how to keep secrets and not divulge them, then her will-power will develop and grow stronger, and thus her self-confidence will increase.

(b) Getting her used to fasting, for when she stands firm in the face of hunger and thirst when fasting, she will feel the joy of achieving victory over her nafs (self), which will strengthen her will-power when facing life, which in turn will increase her self-confidence.

F: Strengthening her confidence in dealing with other people. This may be done by getting her to do housework, obeying the parents' commands, and letting her sit with the adults and get together with other youngsters.

G: Strengthening her confidence in gaining knowledge, by teaching her the Quraan and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and his Seerah (biography), so that she will grow up having acquired abundant knowledge in childhood, so that she will have a sense of confidence in the knowledge that she has, because she will have gained the basic principles of true knowledge, far removed from myths and legends.

On the other hand, the parents must also take some precautions and take effective measures to save the child from feeling inadequate. Some of the things that cause a child to feel inadequate are: belittling her, humiliating her and mocking her, such as calling her by offensive names and words in front of her siblings and relatives, or even in front of her friends or in front of strangers whom she has never met before. These are matters which may make her regard herself as insignificant and worthless, or may generate psychological complexes that will make her look at others with hatred and dislike, and make her withdraw into herself in order to escape from life.

Even if the offensive words that slip from the parents' tongues are only for the purpose of disciplining the child for some mistake, great or small, it is not right to use this method to correct her, as this will have a bad effect on the child's psyche and personal conduct, and it will make her accustomed to the language of condemnation and insult that will destroy her psychologically and morally.

The best way of dealing with this problem is to explain to the child, in a gentle manner, where she has gone wrong and to give her proof that will convince her to avoid the mistake in future; the parents should not scold her, and certainly not in front of others. The parents should use good methods in correcting her from the outset, following the example of the Messenger SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the way he reformed and trained people and corrected their mistakes. For the child is very sensitive and readily influenced, irrational and helpless. Building the child's self-confidence is the first step in building her personality through all stages of life.




--
Posted By Adirai Mansoor to Adirai Express at 1/20/2009 12:21:00 PM http://adiraiexpress.blogspot.com

Sheikh Yousuf Estes

Eminent Islamic scholar, Sheikh Yousuf Estes, is giving a speech at Abu Dhabi ICC today (Wednesday, 21 Jan) after Isha prayer (Road map attached. The location is shown in red). All are welcome.

To know more about him, please visit: http://www.islamtomorrow.com/yusuf.asp


[Before ISLAM]

Skip Estes - Christian Musician Minister - 1988 [After ISLAM]

Sheik Yusuf Estes -- Muslim Chaplain - 2000
I always thought - "Success is - getting what you want!" I came to know - "Happiness is - wanting what you get!"

To be honest, I was a "dedicated Christian" and a good 'ole boy from Texas. I hated anything and everything about those "Mozlems", just like you are supposed to, here in the West. One day, I met a real Muslim and I wanted to 'convert' him to Christianity. But I soon learned there is lot more to Islam than I knew. The more that I learned about REAL ISLAM, the more I was surprised at the similarities.
We were told, "They don't believe in God; they worship a black box in the desert; they kiss the ground 5 times a day, - they are hijackers! - Kidnappers! Terroists! Hijackers!

If you are an American Christian - you have to hate them! - All of them! -- So I did! Many people, Muslim and Non-Muslim alike, ask me the question:
"Chaplain Yusuf, how did you come to Islam?"

Well neighbor, here's my story. . .

Take your time and read a while. You may be surprised and you just might learn something new today --> ISLAM

[ "How We Came to Islam"- click here]