Thursday, June 3, 2010

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY

Win People’s Cooperation

1. Make people feel understood.

Spend less time trying to make people understand what you want, and more time making them feel understood. In an ideal world people might make decisions, commitments and judgments based on logic and sound reasoning. But in this world people act in response to their preferences, feelings and social influence they might not be even aware of. If they trust you and feel you care about them, they are much more likely to cooperate with you.

2. Find common ground

Show people how their needs, values and dreams mesh with yours. To do so, you have to understand their values and concerns. See things from their point of view. Be sympathetic with their feelings. Then show them how cooperating with you can help them achieve what they want.

3. Listen.

Listening is the best way to make people feel understood and at the same time to find common ground. Ask open-ended questions, the kind that invite people’s careful consideration and honesty. Try to understand what people mean, without getting hung up on the literal meaning of their words. And acknowledge their thoughts and feelings (which is not the same thing as agreeing with them).

4. Do not argue.

The person you defeat in an argument today may be the person whose cooperation you need tomorrow. Arguments make people stake out positions and defend them. And the more you try to prove them wrong, the harder they will resist you. People may feel overwhelmed and stop arguing with you. But that does not mean you have won them over. Most of the time, when you win an argument, you lose an ally.

5. Care about the people you want to influence.

If you are concerned about the people you are trying to win over, if you value their needs and dreams, they will know it and they will reciprocate.

6. Be open for other’s ideas.

Do not try to impose your ideas on others only. Listen to and value the ideas of the people that work for you or with whom you work together. Be open minded and feel confident with sharing the ideas with others. Even request for new ideas to gain people’s support and cooperation.

7. Help people believe the change is possible.

People often know, although they will not often admit, that they need to change. They feel a vague uneasiness, sensing that things will not pan out the way they want. But they persist in doing what they have always done, thinking they are doing the best they can. Show them a better way, but more importantly convince them that the change is possible. Do not just give them a solution but offer them confidence.

8. Time your request well.

There is a time and season for everything, especially for asking for support. When people are feeling stressed out, anxious, angry, resentful or threatened, they are not really receptive. Do what you can to reassure them and to make them feel safe, and you increase your chances of winning their support. Look for “moments of influence”, times when they feel capable and confident, and make your best case then.

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY

Win People’s Cooperation

1. Make people feel understood.

Spend less time trying to make people understand what you want, and more time making them feel understood. In an ideal world people might make decisions, commitments and judgments based on logic and sound reasoning. But in this world people act in response to their preferences, feelings and social influence they might not be even aware of. If they trust you and feel you care about them, they are much more likely to cooperate with you.

2. Find common ground

Show people how their needs, values and dreams mesh with yours. To do so, you have to understand their values and concerns. See things from their point of view. Be sympathetic with their feelings. Then show them how cooperating with you can help them achieve what they want.

3. Listen.

Listening is the best way to make people feel understood and at the same time to find common ground. Ask open-ended questions, the kind that invite people’s careful consideration and honesty. Try to understand what people mean, without getting hung up on the literal meaning of their words. And acknowledge their thoughts and feelings (which is not the same thing as agreeing with them).

4. Do not argue.

The person you defeat in an argument today may be the person whose cooperation you need tomorrow. Arguments make people stake out positions and defend them. And the more you try to prove them wrong, the harder they will resist you. People may feel overwhelmed and stop arguing with you. But that does not mean you have won them over. Most of the time, when you win an argument, you lose an ally.

5. Care about the people you want to influence.

If you are concerned about the people you are trying to win over, if you value their needs and dreams, they will know it and they will reciprocate.

6. Be open for other’s ideas.

Do not try to impose your ideas on others only. Listen to and value the ideas of the people that work for you or with whom you work together. Be open minded and feel confident with sharing the ideas with others. Even request for new ideas to gain people’s support and cooperation.

7. Help people believe the change is possible.

People often know, although they will not often admit, that they need to change. They feel a vague uneasiness, sensing that things will not pan out the way they want. But they persist in doing what they have always done, thinking they are doing the best they can. Show them a better way, but more importantly convince them that the change is possible. Do not just give them a solution but offer them confidence.

8. Time your request well.

There is a time and season for everything, especially for asking for support. When people are feeling stressed out, anxious, angry, resentful or threatened, they are not really receptive. Do what you can to reassure them and to make them feel safe, and you increase your chances of winning their support. Look for “moments of influence”, times when they feel capable and confident, and make your best case then.

மரணம் ஒன்றே....

மரணம் ஒன்றே....

வெடிக்கின்ற சப்தத்தால்
வடிக்கின்ற விழிகள்;
காலங்கள் ஆனாலும்
காயம் மட்டும் ரணமாய்
காதோடு முணு முணுக்கும்!!

உறைந்தாலும் இரத்தம்
உறங்காது எங்கள்
உரிமைக் குரல்!!

எங்களை துரத்தாத நாடில்லை
தடுக்க எந்த நாதியும் இல்லை;
வெற்றுக்காகிதத்தில்
வெள்ளை மாளிகை அறிக்கை;
தீராத உன் வேட்கை!!

கயவர்கள் கரம் கோர்த்து
கண்டன அறிக்கை;
புறம் பார்க்க
புறம் தள்ளினாய்
புர்க்காவை!

வறண்டுப் போன வாயினில்
என் தாடிக்காக
உன் தொண்டைக் குழியில்
எச்சில் ஏறி இறங்கும்;

மனம் நிறைய
பயம் கொண்டு
ஏளனமாய் நகைக்கிறாய்
ஏகாதிபத்திய அரசு என்று!!

வார்த்தைக்கு வார்த்தை
வல்லரசு – இனி
வரலாறு மட்டும்தான் அப்படி;
வாசிக்க இருக்க மாட்டாய் நீ!!

அடக்கிவிடலாம் என
ஆணவத்தில் நீ;
இறை வழியில்
மரணம் ஒன்றே
மறுத் தீர்வாய் நாங்கள்!!

ஒயாது இந்த போராட்டம்
ஒய்வெடுக்கும் நாள் வரும் வரைக்கும்;
இரத்தத்தோடு யுத்தகளத்தில் நின்றாலும்
மண்டியிடுவது என்னவோ நாங்கள்
மறையோன் ஒருவனுக்குத்தான்!!

-யாசர் அரஃபாத்

மார்க்கத்தின் மகிமை..

மார்க்கத்தின் மகிமை..

அறிவுரைகள் எல்லாம்
அடுத்தவருக்குத்தான்;
எதிர்த்துக் கேள்விக் கேட்டால்
எரிமலையாய் வெடித்திடுவோம்!

விளக்கம் கொடுப்பதற்கு முன்னமே
குதர்க்கமாய் கனைகள் தொடுத்திடுவோம்;
கிடைத்ததற்கு பின்னே
கிண்டலாய் முடித்திடுவோம்!!

செய்தவை யாவையும்
செய்தித்தாளில் போட்டு விடுவோம்;
செய்தவர் யாரென்று அதிலும்
போட்டியிடுவோம்!!

ஓரிறையென்று
ஓயாது ஒலித்திடுவோம்;
உள்ளே வந்தப்பின்னே
உனக்கா எனக்கா என
ஒருக் கைப்பார்த்திடுவோம்!!

ஒன்றுப் பட்ட சமுதாயம் என
ஓங்கி ஓங்கி முழங்கிடுவோம்;
விளக்கம் என்றுக் கேட்டால்
குறுந்தகடு வழங்கிடுவோம்!!

ஒன்றாகவே முடியாதா
ஓர் தலைமையில்;
கேட்டதுத்தான் தாமதம்
இடிவந்து விழும் தலையில்!!

இணக்கம் என்றால் கட்டிக்கொள்வோம்
பிணக்கு என்றால் முட்டித்தள்ளுவோம்!
மார்க்கம் என்று மாறி மாறி அழைத்திடுவோம்;
தர்க்கம் செய்தே சேற்றை மாறி மாறி பூசிடுவோம்!

கட்டியணைத்து வெட்டிவிடுவோம்
பகைமையை;
மார்தட்டி சொல்லுவோம்
மார்க்கத்தின் மகிமையை!!

இயக்கமாக இருந்தாலும்
இணக்காமாக இருந்திடுவோம்;
எரிமலையாக இருப்போம்
எதிரிக்கு மட்டும்;

-யாசர் அரஃபாத்